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Mizuki Beleren [WIP]

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Mizuki Beleren [WIP]

Post by Mizuki on Wed Oct 17, 2012 5:06 am

___________ Mizuki Beleren ___________






__________________________________________________
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."



Nickname(s): Mizu, Uki
Age: 20
Sex: Female
Birthday: (15/12/x371)
Sexuality: Bisexual
Affiliation: Neutral Mage
Rank: D
Guild: Melodic Sirens
Guild Tattoo: Her Blue Melodic Sirens stamp is located on the lower left part of her abdomen, right above her hips.


Physical Characteristics:

Attire/Clothing: She wears a revealing dark green blouse made of cotton that showed a little too much cleavage and stomach with a leather shoulder cover on her left arm as the end of her sleeve almost look to be frill but are that to appear like scale like sleeves. As near before her elbows is a symbol of sun and going across her chest would be an embroiled leather sash with three different carved stones she has placed from her travels. A loose silk sarong with a white wool sash wrapped around her waist that exposed her long, slender legs with the symbol of her village adorned on it, a pair of rare onyx snake earrings, along with a dark silk cape sporting to cover herself which she made in honor of her deceased Master with white lines going downward as if some type of writing and finally a pair blue high heel pumps.

Abnormalities: N/A


Personality: Mizuki is a very complex woman. At first glance, she appears to be Shy, self conscious and a little bizarre. She can also act arrogant and stubborn, usually justifying her less-than-admirable actions with her apparent skill, causing her to later to feel bad about her actions as she always tends to beg for forgiveness. Because of her beauty and strength, she is used to seeing men and women, young and old alike, fall instantly in love with her when she is either working or walking around town.It was revealed the reason for Mizuki's tendency to hide herself in her room and sometimes have an attitude towards life was that because of her horrible past, she didn't want to ever show weakness again to anyone.

Deep down, Mizuki is a rather-sensitive and vulnerable woman who is afraid and concerned about how other people (especially the other members of her team) might react towards her. She is also much more soft and compassionate towards others when she opens up, she has also shown to be very sly and crafty when the situation demands it. Mizuki is very brave and reckless when fighting her opponents. She will fight anyone who she considers her enemy, regardless what their reputation is or not.

Hobbies:
  • Reading - Her love of reading as a Child has brought her to the point on believing myths and legends Ideas for her cards and too every now and then unwind with a good book instead of dealing with the hassle of everyday life.

  • Traveling - As a Child she grew up in a farm where they would travel to places to sell their stock and she would be amazed by every little structure her eyes would spot out. Though now she travels with a purpose it doesn't stop her from visiting anything she deems worth exploring.

  • Card Play - Simple that she would make a habit with her cards any chance she get she would do fortune telling though she wasn't really good at it. She would perform to make a few coins.


Likes:
  • Libraries
  • Villages
  • Ruins
  • Beaches
  • Cards
  • The Color Blue


Dislikes:
  • Death
  • Lustful Men
  • Arrogant People
  • Dark Guilds
  • Bandits


Inspiration: The feel of Adventuring and making a name for herself - Her choice of living after her lifelong choice on becoming a mage with a name as she left her village in search for a guild to help her with her dream.

Fears:
  • Being the cause of a friend or Families Death - A part of her feels guilty that her Teacher died, though she can't explain it so it kills her to be always on watch for her team and family.

  • The fear of Betrayal - Simple enough to that if she ever opened up to a person only to have them turn on her would make her mental emotions go traumatic.

  • Dragons - Stories of Old, have made her fear the dragons as unstoppable meaning of destruction as where ever the pass death and of course destruction is surely to follow.


Augment Name:

Augment Description:

Name: Mizuki's Cards
Rank: D rank
Classification: Weapon
Type: Card Deck
Elemental Alignment: N/A
Ability: (What abilities does your equipment do?)
Material(s): Paper, Cardstock
Appearance:
Spoiler:
History: Mizuki created her first deck of cards during her training with her Master as she grew up adding more and more cards to the deck.








_________________________________________

Faceclaim: Character Name - Commissioned Drawing


Last edited by Mizuki on Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:54 pm; edited 11 times in total

Mizuki

Posts : 3
Age : 23

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Re: Mizuki Beleren [WIP]

Post by Heero Villenn on Wed Oct 17, 2012 5:14 am

I am Heero Villenn and I will be the one reviewing and approving your app.

Before I can really review this let's fix some technicalities and basic requirements:

physical characteristics needs to be at minimum, 200 words. you only have 44. Please reach 200 before we continue. 156 words to go.

clothing needs to be 150 words. you have forty nine. Please add 101 more words please.

hobbies: please expand on these. Tell me why she enjoys them.

Inspiration: Expand and tell me more. This is way to little.

fears: you need three fears and expand upon them.

your magic is not an augment. Augments are like cat ears(improved hearing) or a tail(added balance). Combative augments should be rather weak by the way. You also can have no augments if you like. Augments are mostly physical. They can be linked to your magic but they are not the same thing.

I will do a more detailed review when these problems are solved.

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Re: Mizuki Beleren [WIP]

Post by Mizuki on Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:39 am

bump

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Re: Mizuki Beleren [WIP]

Post by Heero Villenn on Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:50 am

card play: putting someone into a card seems a little high level for a D-rank mage don't you think? The rest is fine however I worry about this last part. Also...take the [*] things out. Or put the [list] code between them. I personally just used dashes(-) which is also acceptable.

so close. Your still 10 words short of 150 in your clothing/attire section. Please fix.

History. You stated that you are a member of melodic sirens. Please state the circumstances, even if briefly in your history. Once all this is done. You will be approved.

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Re: Mizuki Beleren [WIP]

Post by Luxin Rhodes on Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:44 pm

Before you go any further. Change your history. Now. We do not except plagiarism on this site. This history happens to belong to Izumi; a friend of mine. You have resulted your self with a warning for now. do it again and you will pay.

Look: http://www.fairytailrp.com/t1640-izumi-finished

I don't see the difference between this history and that one except that you changed a couple of words and here and there to use your character's name. Seriously, you need to think about what you are doing.

EDIT:

ARE YOU SERIOUS? Come on! You also copied Alena Lust's appearance...

http://www.fairytailrp.com/t935-alena-lust

You know that an RP'er is a person of creativity. You, my friend, are the exact opposite. If you want to Role Play create your own original things. Don't go around sites and copying parts.

Do this again, you will be removed and banned from this site. Kapeesh?

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Re: Mizuki Beleren [WIP]

Post by Spitfire on Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:58 am

Locked and moved to archives.

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